Renesha, 16, Maryland, United .States: I would rather not date someone outside of my faith because we would be so different religiously and mentally. Although, I might be drawn to that person I would have to put away that sense of attachment and consider is this the person that God destine me to be with. To conclude I would rather not date someone outside of my faith because we would have obstacles in our path that would hinder us.
Ben-Zion, 23, Western Cape, South Africa: I have to add that the family unity is perfected where the family as a whole worship together. Ties are made stronger and Christ is put centre in every relationship where the church plays an active role, therefore if your partner does not want to be a part of your faith…you let go.
Nozuko, 25, Eastern Cape, South Africa: It is not good at all, there are not benefits at all. Instead, she/he will put you out of you religion tenderly. If someone has already started it she, he better leave while it is still early.
Miljolyn, 26, Makati City, Philippines: There are many consequences on trying to date outside of our faith than the benefits out of it. Yes, we may add new friends on our list but still we have to consider their influence on us (the bad influences)... like insisting to go to movie houses or disco bars? How about drinking liquor & smoking? Try not to be judgmental then, but still don’t try risking our beliefs just to have experience dating outside our faith. Just follow what Mrs. E White advices to young people in regarding with dating & relationships, surely we will end up w/ no regrets. If we don’t know how to handle the complications of it, then why take the risk? More important is to gain the trust of our Lord Jesus & letting Him to choose the 'one' for us.
Delvina, 18, New Zealand: When dating someone outside our faith, there are more problems than benefits. With two people having different opinions (particularly with faith or religion) it is harder for two to unite and be one through marriage before God. It is better to date someone with your own faith. But then again, you may just find someone who you know you should spend the rest of your life with. In those situations prayer is the key. God shows us the way. Seek and you shall find, Ask and it shall be given you. So we have to ask God to help us find the person He has chosen for us. For if we don't ask, we won't receive. It's that simple
Celia, 27, Kingston, Jamaica: Whatever God warns us to keep away from, we should heed. He is always right!! It is dangerous to date outside of the faith. People socialize based on commonalities, one of which is religion, a foundation on which people build their lives. If there are fundamental differences, conflicts will arise. It does not mean that the person is not a nice person; it just means that you differ on things that you are convicted of. The relationship will call for compromise. To compromise would be to go against your conscience and conviction. That could affect you emotionally and raise doubts in your mind. Soon you will have to give up your beliefs for peace, and what is a human without beliefs.
One may say that you can convert the person, but based on what I've seen, it's usually the other way around or the two persons part. I've seen mixed marriages at my church and most of them fail, because one reaches a point where they want unity and because each person thinks they are right, unity is hard to achieve in this case.
Sheldon, 29, Ontario, Canada: I have dated four different women from four different faiths, a Pentecostal, United Methodists, a Buddhist and a Jehovah Witness. I have a good number of things in common with these women. I had not dated any Adventist women for one simple reason; Most Adventist youths at my age bracket (20-35) are no longer filling up the pews of our local churches. If I see one at my age in an Adventist church, she is ether married or already taken. Therefore the options I have left are one of two things, either I date a woman outside the faith or I date an eighteen-year-old Adventist, because 18 is legal adult age (in some jurisdictions).
Michelo, 26, Cape Town, South Africa: Can two walk together unless they agree? Amos 3vs3. Christ asked what does God have in common with the devil. Now I don’t mean that everyone who is non Adventist is the devil. The point is that most of our values as Adventist "crash" with those of non-Adventist and so one has at some point got to compromise their faith/values in order to accommodate the other. It is at this point where things will be difficult and most of "us" have fallen here. The old saying "prevention is better that cure" works here. I have heard people say that it is only dating and not marriage, but how do marriages start? The bible tells us to love our be that salt of the world so let us interact with the non Adventist and tell them of the love of Christ and that is a good kind of interaction. If that is the context of the question then bravo ,but if it is relationships that are anticipated to grow, then we must be careful. Let us not end up like Samson grinding for the philistines or in the end "blame Delilah for Samson’s stupidity”!
Jeremiah, 23, Nyanza, Kenya: I strongly oppose the issue of dating outside marriage for married couples. For those of us who are not married, the issue of dating before marriage has been a common thing and I think that it is leading us to hell. My prayers are for those who are keeping their faith and I hope that God will assist us. Personally I would like everybody to pray for me so that I could keep my faith-FRIENDS KEEP ON PRAYING FOR THE YOURTHS
Jessica, 18, England: Well the bible says don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers so it really shouldn’t be done, but then in my church many people have brought there partners into church, but it may not always work out like that. Yes, I do know that the boy are out numbered by the girls and it is hard to find a good God fearing man/woman, but if we pray God will find us the right person to marry
Lyson, 21, Malawi: I believe dating is different from marriage. If the issue is simply dating then I don’t see any problem with this, because all you are doing here is socialization. I don’t think when you date someone you mean to marry him or her. Moreover, for everything there are advantages and disadvantages of some kind. The bad part of it is when you date her or him and you end up falling in love and you are influenced to leave your faith and follow his or her darkness. The positive part of it is that after dating such an individual you will probably learn how people of different faith behave. You will know their weakness and strength. Eventually, you’ll be able to witness effectively by strengthening their spiritual weakness and weakening their false strength which comes from the lies of the evil one. Let us show love to people outside our faith, they are also children of God. Let us not forget we are the salt and we are the light. We must go where there is darkness.
Jeaneth, 23, Mindoro Occidental, Philippines: For me, dating to someone who is not with same faith is okay as long that you will be careful on everything. Through these things you can share to them the love of God. The only way to know them is through dating and this is the way that you can tell about God and your faith! We must not be allergenic on this situation. But before you go with a date you must to ask God guidance! Well, how could they know that you are the true believers of God? Of course, show with them and be with them. But getting in a relationship, I think its different topics, because getting relationship with someone who is not with same faith; this is the thing that God does not allowed us to do. We must be put in trials and difficulties. We must to remember the council to the young people with Mrs. White about getting into relationship. Even you are same faith you must to pray God if that is the person for you. So young man and woman seek according to His will, and we must be careful in everything. To date with them it’s okay, but entering into a serious relationship, its not okay brothers and sister. Go and seek God First in every Steps!
Melly, 22: Even if one might encounter benefits the cons definitely out weigh the pros. You encounter tremendous problems and too many clashes. Tensions mount particularly where religion is involved. Too often one party ends up compromising their faith and this might be a fatal decision to their spirituality.
Filipe, 29, Portugal: Esther dated someone out of her faith. So did Samson…
Stanley, 24, Lae, Papua New Guinea: Going through the views expressed, almost all the problems and benefits associated with this act have been stressed clearly for one to make absolute decision on what to do and how to do it, especially in the context of this dilemma. I have seen marriages eventuated from Christian dating, but ended up in disaster after some time when the two recognized their true colors. These sort of people wear Christian Adventist coat into church to get that one, and once he/she is in it, the life springs back to original with Adventist coat off. So how can we know we are dating the true Adventists inside the church? My view is to actually study and understand the person's character, behavior, family background, peer relationships, etc. Than the mere Adventist faith he/she has. With the understanding of these qualities, I'm sure you will know how hard or easy to change a person's belief system, and make a viable decision for your life.
Reuben, 25, Lusaka, Zambia: Well, I would say that is a good question because honestly speaking I do have friends, fellow Adventists who are dating people outside our faith. From my own point of view I think it’s a really bad idea, not only a bad idea but also a very dangerous thing to do. Marriage is a life long commitment and before we actually decide on whom we want to share the rest of our life with, we really have to be very careful. One area that needs much prayer and care is when we are faced with a situation where we find ourselves dating some one outside our faith. The first right thing to do I think would be to help the other person by sharing the advent message with them. Here a lot of care has to be taken because there is also a likelihood that people at times may pretend to accept the message merely because they don’t want to let go of you!
However, were the other person does not understand the message and have clearly explained that they are not interested (like in a case were a friend of mine was dating a lady from outside), there my friends am afraid you will just need to let go.
However, the best thing to do is to make sure that you date someone within the church, its just right that you both have a common understanding in matters of faith. That is my say.
God bless you all
Fiola, 22: The problem is that Christ or the Holy Spirit is not the driving force behind the relationship. The benefit will be that you, the individual, can have a closer walk with God and a soul can be drawn to Christ.
Josh, 19, Queensland, Australia: It depends what you mean by "outside your faith". I take that to mean dating outside of the Christian faith, in which case I don't think it's a very good idea. Most of the time Christians in this situation say they are acting as a role model and trying to bring their partner to Christ, but we forget that often the partner has just as much, if not more, influence over them as they do over the partner. Of course that's not to say that all Christians dating non-Christians should immediately end the relationship. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7 that it really should be up to the other partner whether the relationship should continue. If they want to stay then cool, but if they want to leave they should, because you have no idea whether you're going to save them or not.
If we're talking about dating someone who is a Christian but not an Adventist, then I say go for it. I'm not a big fan of denominational separatism. Romans 14 tells me true Christians ought to be capable of having love and respect for each other despite holding to different doctrines.
Kaliza, 26, Eastern, Zambia: Paul in Corinthians, said do not be yoked with non- believers don’t you know that friendship with the world is enmity with God. The problems of dating with a non- believer is that one is likely to assimilate trends and practice of a non believer and finally one may lead to behave and conduct himself / herself like a non believer. There are no benefits in dating them, unless on spreading the good news to them.
Jeffrey, 23, Florida, United States: That is where the antediluvians came from, was when God's children starting inter-marrying with the rebellious peoples around them. Our prophet clearly expresses, many times how dangerous the consequences of such actions would be. Truth does not matter on what we say or think, it is what He points out in His Word, the Bible and in His Testimony, the Spirit of Prophecy.
Cintia, 18 Georgia, United States: It’s really difficult to keep your faith when someone important to you doesn’t share you beliefs. Opposites attract, but your relationship with your significant other needs to include similarities to tie you two together. How can you have a truly close relationship with someone when they don’t share a belief in the faith that affects all aspects of your life?
Teka-Ann, 24, California, United State: Well, well, I must first say there are more harms than there are benefits to this. Problems include simply differences in views and ideas of right and wrong. Especially as Adventists, it is really hard to come to amicable decisions when dating outside of your faith as one of the major issues lie in the Sabbath and keeping it holy. For non-Adventists, Saturday is a day of 'getting things done' and 'amusement'. For us Adventists, it is the Lord's Day; a day of rest. Other problematic judgments include where to go and when to go and how to dress and the friends to keep. It is just too complicated. The only benefit I can see, which happens to occur very rarely, is leading another soul to the Lord. I will not, however, end before saying that one does not need to date the person to lead him/her to God. Dating him/her actually complicates things as there prevails another contributing reason (and this is not necessarily positive in the long-term) for them to join the Church. As I have seen many times, these persons usually join the Church, but not the family of God.